Don't you send me to vm
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
