dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
