bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
