Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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