So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize