Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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