i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
