BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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