my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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