How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
