I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
