You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
God, I missed his penis.
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