people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize