that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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