I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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