My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize