There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
