I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You have to summon your inner elephant
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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