Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
