i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
