I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
someone owes me an orgasm
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
