YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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