We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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