Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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