is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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