So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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