i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize