just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
