Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
