office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
