i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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