a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
