Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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