Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
