I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
