The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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