where am i from again
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
