Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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