Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
