Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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