OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
