..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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