so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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