he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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