Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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