Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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