i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
