I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
