so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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