Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize