Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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