Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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