she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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