does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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