Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
