she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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