he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
