oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
even my farts smell like vagina
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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