last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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