tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
