So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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