I need help removing her.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
