How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
