where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
