What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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