glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
